And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize