apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize