You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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