I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize