Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize