im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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