Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
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I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
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I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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