omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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