New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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