So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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