im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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