SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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