Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize