So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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