Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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