id be glad to
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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