Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
the raccoons are back...
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