So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize