I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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