Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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