the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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