There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize