So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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