My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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