idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
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