I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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