Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize