In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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