dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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