They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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