Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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