Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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