Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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