I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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