i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
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So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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