I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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