at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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