Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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