I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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