and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize