hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
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i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
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By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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