I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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