I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
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Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
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Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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