Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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