well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize