Kareoke will never be a sober sport
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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