I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize