So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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