I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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