accomplished twins. life is a go
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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